HIPPIE HOLIDAZE T-SHIrT
A Xmas Poem, By PICKLES AND PIZZA
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shop
No ideas were stirring, just the odor of pot;
all the T-Shirts were folded neatly with care,
As Piazza lit a joint with no intention to share;
The scums were nestled all ready to print,
With visions of xmas SHIrTS covered in lint;
When, what to Piazza’s wondering mind should appear,
But a wreath made of pot leaves, as the weed smoke cleared
Then jolly fat Pickles, sat up so quick,
He knew in that moment the idea was sick.
“Off to the presses” Mr. Pickles exclaimed!
Piazza walked to the project thanking his brain
“Grab the SQUEEGEES! the SCREENS! now, THE INK start the MIXEN!
This graphic's UNCOMMON! not STUPID, it’s BITCHIN’!
Load the shirts on the plattens! let’s print them all!
Now print away! print away! — OH MY GOD, YOU’RE SO BALD”
Would you prefer if I covered my head,
Or dressed as an elf, or maybe Santa instead;
No, Pickles, you’re Santa, you’re bearded and fat
If my baldness is bothering you, buy me a hat.
You did good little elf, now go print these tees!
So Santa can relax and smoke some more trees!
Alright I will, I’ll bang these right out
But please pas the joint before it goes out;
Here you go little scum, but don’t get too high
Because we must deliver these by sleigh in the sky
Then, the two scums flew out of sight,
HIPPIE HOLIDAZE TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
CATHOLICS VS. CONVICTS T-SHIrT (FAT ENZO EDITION)
NFL | No F-ing Loyaltee (Facebook friendly version)
FUCKN' WHITE PEOPLE T-SHIrT
Florida: State of IRMAgency | T-Shirt
DRIVE THEM OUT T-SHIRT
Have you ever been affected by Terrorism? Your flight’s been delayed at the airport and you just got frisked for a little too long and thorough, for having a beard that’s a little too long and thorough. It’s time to fight back. The POTUS said is best during his speech in Saudi Arabia - "Drive. Them. Out. DRIVE THEM OUT of your places of worship. DRIVE THEM OUT of your communities. DRIVE THEM OUT of your holy land, and DRIVE THEM OUT OF THIS EARTH.” Rock this BRAND NEW soft, cotton white ANTI-TERRORISM #FATENZO #TSHIT hot off the presses. | FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS TO CONTINENTAL U.S.A.
TEDDY ROOSEVELT TEE
ORIGINAL IMMIGRANTS "ITALY" TEE
GRAM PARSON "JOSHUA TREE" TEE
CHARLIE SHEEN "THE MASHEEN" TEE
SINATRA "I CHOOSE DRINKS AND HARLOTS" TEE
THE GOOD OLE DAYS TEE
MARK TWAIN "YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE" TEE
Wear this FAT ENZO T-SHIT to the next concert you attend. It's fun to watch the bouncers' expressions.
"HOOKED ON PHYSICS" EINSTEIN TEE
HUNTER S. THOMPSON "HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN" TEE
ROBIN MOTHERF@#KN' WILLIAMS TEE
Robin Williams (July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, producer, writer, singer and voice artist. Starting as a west coast stand-up comedian in the mid-1970s, and, after rising to fame as Mork in Mork & Mindy (1978–82), Williams went on to establish a career in both stand-up comedy and feature film acting, i.e. Popeye (1980), The World According to Garp (1982), Good Morning, Vietnam (1987), Dead Poets Society (1989), Awakenings (1990), Hook (1991), The Fisher King (1991), Aladdin (1992), Mrs. Doubtfire (1993), Jumanji (1995), The Birdcage (1996), Good Will Hunting (for which he won the 1997 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor), etc...Known for his improvisational skills, William also received two Emmy Awards, six Golden Globe Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, and five Grammy Awards throughout his career. He's Robin Motherf@#kn' Williams. And you should recognize his greatness.
JACKIE'S O-FACE TEE
SALT FACED TEE
The inspiration behind the SALT FACED logo is none other than the illustrious Ben Coletti - whose ridiculous beach lifestyle is the stuff of legend amongst tourists and locals alike, in the Village of John's Pass, Madeira Beach, FL. This logo was created from a photo taken of Mr. Coletti at a point of intoxication almost unsurpassable. In the middle of a sun-filled day with at least 100 Bud Light beers under his belt, he turned to the camera with the look of complete and total inebriation and a dumb enough wit to somehow keep it all together.
It is also important to note that, Alexander Benjamin Coletti, at no point whatsoever, had anything to do with the creation or conceptualization of this witty, awesome T-SHIT graphic. And, his face can easily be substituted for that of Earnest Hemingway, if FAT ENZO sees fit.
TOMMY D TEE
GRAM PARSONS TEE
- a South American drug baron.
- a Latin American with Indian blood; a mestizo.
- an urban Mexican.
- a Mexican-American gang member.
ORIGINAL IMMIGRANTS SHOESHINE TEE
NIXON "I AM A CROOK" TEE
"YOU LEARNED THE TWO GREATEST THINGS IN LIFE" GOODFELLAS TEE
"WAKE UP, HENRY" KAREN HILL TEE
MARK TWAIN TEE
KOSHER SALT LIFE TEE
FLORIDIOT RICK SCOTT TEE
FLORIDIOT DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ TEE
FALE UNIVERSITY (FU) TEE
EMOJI PENTAGRAM TEE
To wear a pentagram T-SHIT, is to say you feel the connection with the elements and respect the earth, not satan. Although, satan is pretty fucking cool. (Besides, he’s a softy - always texting back and forth w/ emojis).
And, the Spirit of 76' was, and always will be, MUSIC!
HUEY LONG TEE
DON'T FUCK WITH JESUS TEE
CAPTAIN MERICA TEE
But, if you still support Cristoforo's guinea swagger, rock this FAT ENZO T-SHIT on the next Columbus Day. Hurry while the holiday still exists!
Contact us for wholesale group orders! It's really the perfect tee for your group to where while standing and waiving from a parade float proceeding down 5th Ave, NYC.
KEVIN BACON TEE
TED BUNDY TEE
Ted Bundy was an American serial killer, kidnapper, rapist, and necrophile who assaulted and murdered numerous young women and girls during the 1970s. Bundy was regarded as handsome and charismatic by many of his young female victims, traits he exploited to win their trust. Shortly before his execution, after more than a decade of denials, he confessed to 30 homicides. He died in the electric chair at Raiford Prison in Starke, Florida, on January 24, 1989. Biographer Ann Rule described him as "... a sadistic sociopath who took pleasure from another human's pain and the control he had over his victims, to the point of death, and even after." He once called himself "... the most cold-hearted son of a bitch you'll ever meet." Attorney Polly Nelson, a member of his last defense team, agreed. "Ted," she wrote, "was the very definition of heartless evil.” Obviously, FAT ENZO doesn’t condone murder - just cold-hearted sarcasm.
BUKOWSKI "DON'T TRY" TEE
Black, white and gray print on soft, natural 100% cotton tee. "Made in a Sweatshop in the U.S.A."
BUKOWSKI "DON'T TRY" TEE
Black print on soft, white 100% cotton tee. "Made in a Sweatshop in the U.S.A."
GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS TEE
BOBBY KENNEDY TEE
NYC MAYOR BILL de BLASIO "BILLY BLAZE" TEE
ROBERT DE NIRO TEE
THE A (ANTI-CHRIST) TEAM TEE
Although FAT ENZO loves the POTUS, he still makes a great Mr. T... and a great anti-christ for that matter! Here’s our beloved obama, along with the three other anti-X’s: Nero, Hitler & Napoleon.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON "OUT OF MY WAY, YOU BASTARDS!" TEE
But on a serious tip, these are the words uttered by HST when he met Johnny Depp for the first time, while brandishing a cattle prod.